Henderson Reunion

Tuesday, we picked up my cousin, Ryann, and drove to Bear Lake! I was so excited to get together with all of the Henderson’s! We usually get together at Thanksgiving every other year. We had almost 40 people in one cabin and it was a PARTY!

Austin and I graduated to the big kids’ club and we were even responsible for a meal one day! Haha I know it sounds dumb, but it really was exciting for me.

My Aunt KaDee was the professional braid-er of the trip! I think she braided all of our hair almost every day! One day, we all ended up matching with the same braid! It is so kind of her to take the time to do that for each of us. I really should learn how to braid!

My mom killed it with the reunion T-shirts this year too! They are really soft!

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One night we had a dance party! Our cousin, Peyton, is the best twerker out there! We were all out there trying to do it as well as she does and we had too much fun. My dad even jumped in and had Peyton and Megan teach all of the dads how to twerk. Grandma appreciated it so much, the next day we were taking pictures with Grandma and she wanted ours to be a “booty picture”. I love my grandma!

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I’ve always looked up to my mom and the way she puts these reunions together. She finds the most creative ways to bring in the Spirit and help each of us feel a desire to be better. Her activities are always really fun, but also drive home a message. This reunion, she had each of the older kids do an object lesson and then give everyone a charm. By the end of the reunion, we ended up with these keychains that had charms from all of the object lessons. I really love my mom and think she is just so good at bringing her family together. As you can see, the kids really dug the whole charm thing.

Thanksgiving was awesome! We literally ate good food all day long! I feel blessed to have the family that I have. The Henderson’s are incredible and I really look up to my parents as well. They are so giving and always reaching out to others. Their example has taught me so much. I adore my sisters. They are both so unique, and I connect with both of them in different ways, but they are some of my best friends. I’m also grateful for my husband. He is so supportive of me, especially when I get stressed. I have just really been blessed!

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It was so awesome to catch up my Aunt Natalie and Uncle Tony too. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them and I didn’t realize how much I missed them. They used to live pretty close to us in Texas, and I forgot about so many good memories! Their son, Jackson, is just the cutest. I realized that I want to be better at staying in touch with them and getting together when we can. Natalie and I were really tight back in the day, and I would love for us to be closer now.

My little cousin, Campbell, never ceases to blow me away either! He is seriously the sweetest, kindest little boy. He was my Junior Chef for the meal that Austin and I made and he was so helpful! He even started sweeping the floor when he was done. He always gives me the biggest hugs and writes me the sweetest notes. I know that sometimes Heavenly Father sends us those people that can be pick me ups for us. Love this kid!

My uncle Todd has a lady in his life now named Connie. Todd, and Connie, and two of Connie’s kids were able to join us for the reunion! My uncle Todd is so happy with her and she is a lot of fun! It was really touching to watch the way each member of the family reached out to her and her kids to make them feel welcome. That is one of the things I absolutely love about my family! My Aunt Laura’s dad is really sick with cancer and I was also touched by how many members of the family reached out to her as well. Cousins pitched in to help with their kids when they needed to go help her family or visit her dad, and it was just cool to watch how our family rallies behind those who need a little extra support and/or love from time to time.

I also absolutely adore my little cousins. These two little nuggets delivered all of the mail (notes we wrote to each other) without ever complaining! They are so good at helping with the younger kids and keeping each of us smiling!

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All in all it was incredible week and I felt a desire to reach out more to the members of my immediate and extended family. We really are one big team and everyone needs a little love! I want to be better about remembering birthdays, and phone calls, and attending those special moments. Rachel and my dad joked the whole trip about “pumping up the tires” or in other words, giving people compliments that help them feel good. It is so true though! Everyone needs their tires pumped up and we should be looking for those opportunities. The truth is…growing up is kind of hard. Whenever we get together with my family, I find myself becoming nostalgic for the times when we all lived at home and were together all the time. I love Austin, and I love being married, but this whole transition thing is kind of hard! I’m trying to kind of my find my new place now that I’m out of the house and kind of starting my own life, but also wanting to hold onto those really special and important relationships. In all honesty, I’m really not looking forward to this whole sharing holidays thing. I may or may not have shed a few tears about not seeing my family for Christmas this year. I’m learning that Heavenly Father kind of expects our hearts to grow the older we get. We’re expected to look out for and love even more people. Instead of just being super tight with my family and loving them, He expects me to love Austin and his family and love all of our extended family members. As our hearts grow, we find even more joy and happiness. I love my family and have always been incredibly close to them…send up a few prayers for me as I work through this whole transition, moving into a new phase of life thing 😉

When Austin and I got back from the cabin, our house felt kind of empty! We went from a cabin of 40 people to an apartment of two people and a dog. Although I have to admit, it was pretty fun to pick Indy up! We dropped him off at a kennel on our way to the cabin and I didn’t realize how much I missed him! He has been loving on me since we got home. He is the sweetest dog. Any who, Austin and I felt a little sad…so we went to go see the new Disney movie, Coco! We absolutely LOVED it! I got all the feels from Mexico and remembering Dia de los Muertos in Tlaquepaque, but I also got all of the family feels! We literally both cried our eyes out, like ugly cried. The movie was adorable and really drove home an important point. Family always comes first and it is so important to preserve our memories. One of the main reasons I write on this blog, is so that our kids can know who we were and what we struggled with and how we worked through things. It is so important to know where we come from and keep our stories alive!

When the Rawe’s Come to Town

MY FAMILY IS IN TOWN!! I have been so excited for weeks!! They came into town on Saturday the 18th, and we started things off right with some Slab and a BYU Basketball game! Looks like the basketball season will be about as good as the football season…at least we got to enjoy a Cougar tail! It feels so good to have them here. It’s hard for me being away from my parents and Megan, but at least I have Rach here with me! We just sit and laugh and laugh and laugh. I will never stop being grateful for the family I was born into. My parents really worked hard to help us understand the value of family relationships and we are still each other’s best friends!

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Sunday, we went to go take our family pictures. We had a shoot with a photographer and then since we all think we have nice phones or something, we ended up with some bonus pictures 😉

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Monday, we went to Luminaria at Thanksgiving Point and it was pretty special! We were expecting it to be really cold but it really wasn’t too bad. It was an outdoor display of Christmas lights all throughout the Ashton Gardens. We had a lot of fun together as a family!

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Toward the end of the trail, there was a “Light of the World” exhibit. It was absolutely beautiful!! There were a ton of sculptures of the Savior depicting his life. There were lanterns everywhere and also instrumental Christmas hymns were playing in the background. The Spirit was so strong. As I walked through the exhibit, I was touched by the life of the Savior. I realized in many of these sculptures, He was crouching or kneeling in order to be eye level with whomever he was interacting with. I realized that this is what the Savior does for each of us. He comes down to our level, personally interacts with us, and then helps to lift us. Toward the end, I got a little choked up because it just hit me that the Lord loves me and knows me and everything is going to be okay. I am going to find the right job at the right time after I graduate that will allow me to progress and grow as a nurse. When Austin and I decide to have kids, the Lord will support us and help us. I felt comfort in so many aspects of my life, knowing that when I trust in the Lord, there truly is no need to fear. Austin felt comforted by the Savior as well and was touched in knowing that He needs the Savior and the Savior loves him.

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We can’t wait for the Henderson reunion!

Wedding Bells

Austin’s cousin, Ashton, married Paige today! This was the first time Austin and I had been to a sealing since our sealing! They got married in the Payson temple as well and it was really cool to be back in the same sealing room where we got married. I just love sealings, I really do! Austin and I felt so close to each other and it was just a sweet moment. When we were sealed, the sealer mentioned that our previous and future generations were present with us in the temple. We could both feel our future little nuggets with us and we’re excited to have a family someday.

Ashton and Paige both looked so happy! Ashton was grinning from ear to ear and it was pretty much adorable. I’ve always had a really soft spot for the kid so it was pretty cool to be a part of their special day! Ashton and I used to watch Grey’s Anatomy together while Austin was on his mission and I’ve always said we’ve been best friends like Alex and Meredith! It was just cool to see him so happy.

The day itself was pretty crazy! Austin and I had quite a few errands to run and we were trying to pull together a few surprises for Ashton and Paige. We ended up with half of the cousins at Walmart picking out stuff to decorate Paige and Ashton’s car with, I had a hair appointment in the middle of the day, then I was an idiot and read Indy’s vaccine record wrong so I was able to squeeze him into an appointment with the vet before we leave town next week, which Austin ran him to while I was getting my hair done…it was wild. Paige’s brother came to Walmart with us and it was pretty fun to get to know her side a little better. All in all it was a good day though and it was nice to be with family. I’m so happy that Austin supports have of my crazy and just jumps in and has fun!

Their reception was beautiful as well. Ahhh, weddings make me happy! Austin and I were talking about how special marriage is. You get to completely give yourself to somebody and share a whole life with them. You have a family together and work through all of life’s craziness. I just think Heavenly Father’s plan is SO COOL. I’m so grateful for Austin and for the the awesome husband that he is. He makes me so happy and I think it’s awesome how much we’ve already learned together!

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PS I went blonde in the middle of the day so it was fun to have a transformation 😉 I usually go dark for the winter, but this year I just wasn’t feeling it! Being lighter is pretty fun!

Thankful for the Little Things

It’s November the month of gratitude!! It has been a crazy month already….trying to squeeze in work shifts, trying to get all of my clinical hours in at the hospital, planning to leave town for a week, weddings, getting sick, school….it has just been quite the roller coaster! I may or may not have lost my temper and gone a little crazy once or twice!

However, despite all of the craziness…I’ve been thinking about how grateful I am for all of the little blessings in my life that end up being HUGE blessings. I am so grateful for every time Austin takes a 10 minute study break to come snuggle me. Even though I get frustrated with Indy from time to time, I am so grateful for every time he jumps up to snuggle me throughout the day. He really is the sweetest dog and I can’t believe we found him! It just baffles me that he was abused early on in his sweet life. I am so grateful for fun packages and surprises from my parents. I am so grateful for every time things just work out no matter how stressed and frustrated I get. I am grateful for incredible phones that take such pretty pictures since we probably won’t be able to afford a nice camera for a really long time! I am grateful for the weaknesses that I have and a husband who pushes me and helps me to be better.

There are many more things I could list out, but I think especially when life gets crazy, it’s important to remember that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and we can see those little tender mercies every day! Life is pretty great!

The Awesomeness of Missionary Work

Today, I taught my first lesson in Relief Society in our new ward! I was so incredibly nervous. I actually love teaching so I don’t know where it came from!! I think maybe it’s because we’re in a family ward now so I’d be teaching women that are older than me….I don’t know, I was just so nervous! Here is my church selfie depicting just how nervous I was!

I had kind of a crazy week, so earlier in the week, I listened to the lesson. I kind of pondered the material and thought about different routes I could take. Yesterday, I worked from 10 am to 11:30 pm and in the morning I was trying to get stuff ready for Ashton’s bachelor party that Austin was hosting. It was really a crazy day! After I had my kiddo I was watching in bed (home health stuff) I started working on my lesson. I felt a little intimidated because I wasn’t super excited about teaching missionary work. I started reading my mission blog and I seriously cried for like an hour!! I was filled with so many feelings and memories and ended up messaging so many people from my mission. I started to realize that missionary work is all about our relationship with the Savior and thus, the lesson was born!

I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to teach! Here is the lesson I taught, based on Chapter 21: The Miracle of Missionary Work from the President Gordon B. Hinckley manual.

“Why are we asked to share the Gospel?

I think we all understand the importance of sharing of Gospel and why we are asked to do so.

What is it that keeps us from sharing the Gospel? What motivates us to share the Gospel?

What do we have to feel before we share?

Preach My Gospel states that, “As your understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ grows, your desire to share the gospel will increase.”

The Sons of Mosiah and Alma the Younger went through a pretty incredible conversion experience. They were changed by the Atonement of Jesus Christ. AFTER this incredibly personal experience with the Savior, this was said about them in Mosiah 28:3, “Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.”

They were so changed by Jesus Christ and felt so committed to serving alongside him, that they “quaked and trembled” at the thought of not being able to do so. Now, chances are, most of us aren’t quite quaking and trembling yet because sometimes we are preoccupied with our own lives or other things going on. However, this can be our goal! It can be our goal to become so unitied with the Savior that His goals are our goals.

As I was preparing for this lesson, I started reading my mission blog, which contains the letters I wrote my family each week. As I read, I realized that this was a point in my life when I was very close to the Savior. I really loved Him and loved the people I was serving. I had faith in Him, I was repenting daily, I felt the Holy Ghost guiding me, and I was really trying to help the Savior with His mission to save as many people as will accept Him. I felt like His partner and had an incredibly personal relationship with Him. For this reason, my desire to share the Gospel grew more with each month I served. Not to mention, I was SO HAPPY. I love looking at pictures from my mission because I look so incredibly happy. This is happiness that comes from doing what the Savior would do and working alongside Him.

How can we increase our desire and faith to share the Gospel?

How do we share the Gospel?

“Let us as Latter Day Saints reach out to others not of our faith. Let us never act in a spirit of arrogance or with a holier-than-though attitude. Rather, may we show love and respect and     helpfulness toward them. We are greatly misunderstood and I fear that such of it is our own making. We can be more tolerant, more neighborly, more friendly, more of an example than we have been in the past. Let us teach our children to treat others with friendship, respect, love and admiration. That will yield a far better result than will an attitude of egotism.” -President Hinckley

BE NICE

“The most effective tract we will carry will be the goodness of our own lives and example.”-President Hinckley

Why do you think this is? What did President Hinckley mean by this?

As I read this quote, I thought of my mom. My mom works full time, travels, and somehow still accomplishes to constantly be involved in good things. She spreads the love of the Savior, reaches out to those who need to feel some love, and does so because of the love she has for the Savior. She is a HUGE light not only in our family, but in our ward and our community as well.

Preparing Children for Missions is a large responsibility when it comes to how we share the Gospel.

“We ask that parents begin early to train their children (for missionary service). Where there is family prayer, where there are family home evenings, where there is scripture reading, where the father and mother are active in the Church and speak with enthusiasm concerning the Church and the gospel, the children in such homes become imbued in a natural way with a desire to teach the gospel to others. There is usually a tradition of missionary work in such homes. Savings accounts are set up while children are small. Boys grow up with a natural expectation that they will be called to serve as missionaries for the Church. A mission becomes as much a part of a boy’s programs for life as is an education.” -President Hinckley

What are some things you all have done or are doing to help prepare your children for missions?

I grew up hearing stories from the missions of my parents from the time I was a little kid. I had always thought about a mission and strove to develop my testimony. I have been asked in my life “What helped you prepare most for your mission?” I believe the strongest source of my preparation was the values my parents instilled in me. My parents taught me how to love people without judging. My parents taught me how to reach out and uplift as many people as I could. My parents taught me how to be a positive light to those around me. I think instilling these values is what most prepared me to serve the Lord as a missionary.

“Along with the need for young elders and sisters, there is a growing need for couples in the mission field. Older married couples are doing a wonderful work in the missions. Many more are needed. Particularly, we need those with foreign language abilities. They can serve in many responsibilities under the direction of sensitive and considerate mission presidents.” -President Hinckley

Light the World Video – I recommend anyone reading this go watch it! This video really touched me, and it continues to touch me every time I watch it. I love how this video shows that we can minister in the same manner the Savior did. That’s our goal. That’s our mission. As we become more like Him and develop a more personal relationship with Him, our desire to be a missionary will increase.

“Let us do our part in sharing the gospel with those around us, by example first and then by inspired precept.” -President Hinckley

It is by our EXAMPLE FIRST. We have to be a light first, then when the Lord prompts, we can reach out in other ways.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know that He trusts us. I know that He needs our help and even more than that, He knows that helping Him will bring us true joy. I know that in order to be happy, we need to be close to the Savior. I know that if we look for opportunities to work with the Savior, He will show us how. I know that as we become kinder, less judgemental, and more accepting and loving, we will be able to reach even more people.”

I’m so excited to keep teaching in this ward!

 

Halloween Shenanigans!

This Halloween was definitely one for the books! I was really wanting to have a Halloween party even though Austin’s grandparents were going to be out of town. I got together with Austin’s aunts and we planned a really fun party!

I made a Photo Booth for the kids and their pictures were AWESOME!

We also played a lot of really fun games! It was fun to see everyone getting into it!

And the food!! I had so much fun making Halloween dishes and we had quite the selection! Let it be known that I carved the barfing pumpkin all on my own. It is not a secret that I’m not very patient with things that don’t come easily to me. Almost every year I cry from frustration when it comes to carving pumpkins. I’m proud to admit though that I carved the barfing pumpkin all on my own and there were no tears shed! I thought he turned out really well! I made queso to put inside of him and his barf is buffalo chicken dip! I also tried to make some zombie guts! (aka red velvet cinnamon rolls) I was so happy with how they turned out!!

Also, I’m pretty sure we killed it for Halloween this year. I present Gru, Agent Lucy Wilde, and our little minion 🙂

Now, I know by looking at these pictures and reading this post it seems like we just had the perfect party right?? Haha, just goes to show how pictures can really be deceiving. So let’s just start from the beginning…I worked Sunday night before the party. I came home, slept for about 2 hours, and then the food and party prep began! I cooked all day and then got myself ready. Austin got home from school a little later than he was expecting. We needed to leave our house by 4 to go over to Emily and John’s house to set everything up to be able to start the party by 5. Austin got home about 3:15/3:30 and I was scrambling to get him ready. I have never used a bald cap before and it’s not as easy as one would think! We were both getting frustrated, and I took a time out. I felt myself getting worked up, so I went and loaded the car. At this point, it was about 4:30. I came back in and asked Austin if he would be offended and I let him figure out his bald cap while I went to set up for the party. I drive to Emily and John’s and it is so windy!! Our big plan was to do the Photo Booth outside because the pictures would look better. There were 4 of us out there trying to set up streamers and banners, and I couldn’t even use half of the decorations I planned to use because the wind was too strong. At this point, I kind of felt like crying, but I was trying to brush it off and try and have fun anyway and not let it get me down. Austin calls pretty close to 5 and tells me his bald cap has just ripped. I told him it was okay, I wasn’t mad, he could just put on his nose and come over to the party. He told me he would figure something out. He ends up at the theatre costume store where I bought his bald cap and prosthetic nose in the first place, and the makeup manager said his schedule was full but that he could sneak him in a quick window and get him a new bald cap and get his nose applied. At about 6:30, Austin made it to the party and he looked incredible!! I was beyond excited. I know he did it for me too. He knows I love Halloween and get really into our costumes, and it just means a lot to me that he would go out and get that done knowing the time commitment it would be and also on top of a month where our budget was already struggling. He is too good to me!

All in all, everything worked out and I think everybody had fun. Here’s to already thinking about next year’s costumes!! 😉

Sunday Reflections

I was quite the little homemaker today! I made homemade dinner rolls for the first time today! I love the way bread makes the house smell. I also tried this new Oreo hole poke cake. I combined the recipe for better than sex cake with another recipe I found and it turned out flipping delicious. I have eaten way too much this weekend. Here marks the beginning of the season of eating way too much!

 

 

This has been a seriously crazy week. I’ve been picking up a lot of shifts lately trying to make some extra money. Today we had the missionaries over for dinner and while I was getting everything ready, I just kind of realized I’ve been moving a little too quick. I’ve been doing a little “running faster than I have strength.” I’ve also just been so tired and cranky….not good. I started to realize that my car accident was about a year ago. I can’t believe I fell asleep at the wheel a year ago. That accident is still one of my biggest learning experiences. I started to feel today that I need to slow down and make sure I’m getting enough sleep. I could feel that everything else will work out.

Our cute little missionaries were honestly a little awkward. Austin and I were trying to ask them questions but they kind of just ate quietly! Haha! My point in saying this is, even though they were awkward and it wasn’t quite what we were expecting, it was still special. I love the spirit the missionaries bring into homes. I love the message they share and there is just something special about them. I’m so happy we had them over 🙂

I was at the hospital yesterday and I worked with a different nurse since my preceptor, Mary, was called off. It was a crazy day…I was physically and emotionally exhausted by the end of it! We had the sweetest patients and they really tugged at my heartstrings. It was confirmed again to me how much I really love nursing, and even more so, how much I love pediatrics. I also realized that some of these kids and families are in really hairy situations but our Heavenly Father knows. He loves them and he’s watching over his kids. I love the opportunity to be with them and help them smile and support them during their time in the hospital. This week I met with the nurse manager of the women/children’s float pool at Utah Valley Hospital and I am so excited to apply for a job in December! In the float pool, the nurses work pediatrics, mom/baby and the NICU. I just think I would learn so much and gain so much experience. Keep your fingers crossed for me! But any who, back to my shift yesterday. Being a nursing student is kind of hard sometimes. Most of the time you feel like an idiot, you always ask stupid questions, you always wish you knew more than you do…it’s tricky. The nurse I was working with had asked me to draw up an IV medication while she did something else. She had administered the same dose earlier in the day and told me to draw up a certain amount of the medication. I did just that, but for some reason I decided to look at the vial again (I’m usually paranoid and double and triple check everything). As I looked at the vials, I realized I needed less of the medication than she told me in order to give the proper dose. I notified the nurse I was working with and we were able to give the correct dose. This experience for me was huge! As a student, it can be easy to assume the nurses know better than you do, but I realized today that I’m not completely incompetent! It just made me feel good and now I feel a little more confident in my own skills. It’s so important for us to help each other out! All in all, I am obsessed with the hospital. I come home absolutely drained but I really love it. I hope and pray I can get a job and work in for a little while after graduation!

On the track of nursing school….I had some really meaningful moments this week. My teacher came to visit me at the hospital on Saturday to see how things have been going. We talked about some of my experiences and she told me that I just light up when I talk about pediatrics. She said every time she has come to the hospital she’s been impressed with me and she said she just never worries about me because she knows I will be great. Now, I definitely don’t feel that way because I worry about all the things I still need to learn but hearing that from her was definitely a pick me up for me! It was just awesome and made me feel so good!

This week I also helped quite a bit with one of my cute home health kiddos who got pretty sick. I worked closely with his parents this week and one night, his mom sent me this message: “Thank you Lexi! We sure love you and appreciate that you care about us (sounds cheesy), but it really shows. You are a good nurse!” Now this just made my whole week. I really do love and care about this family and it was just reassuring. This message made me feel like “Oh, maybe I really can be successful at this!”

Life is good. I love these little pick me ups that Heavenly Father is constantly sending me 🙂 Also, I love nursing.

 

Hot Chocolate Season!

Tonight Austin and I went to watch his cousin Logan’s last football game! It was pretty chilly, but I have officially learned the art of using blankets instead of coats! I think I’m just going to wrap blankets around me all winter instead! After the game, we went out for hot chocolate to celebrate. Maverick’s hot chocolate bar is pretty impressive and it’s cheap! I think we just found our guilty pleasure for the rest of the winter 😉 Here’s to the first hot chocolate of the year!

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My Favorite Season!

I adore Halloween. I mean, I really adore it. This month has been so crazy…but tonight I finally had the chance to finish my pumpkins for this year! Halloween decorations make me happy! I am obsessed with my dog skeleton too. Watch out…in the years to come, I’ll end up with bat skeletons, bird skeletons, cat skeletons, and maybe even snake skeletons!

Next week we’re having a Halloween party with Austin’s family and I have been working so hard on planning some activities and food! It is just going to be so fun! I really love this time of year 🙂

Temples, Temples, Temples

True confessions…I am not very good at attending the temple. I’m not quite sure if it’s a time/busy thing, or a feeling like I’m not righteous enough to go thing, or a combination of lots of things, but attending the temple regularly is not one of my strengths. I haven’t been since I was in Ecuador(yikes)! Last night, Austin’s cousin, Ashton, got endowed since he is getting married next month! I was so excited that we were invited to go through the temple with him for his first time.

I really had an incredible experience. As I participated in the session, I felt so many things. First of all, I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I know that his Atonement is real. I’ve been carrying around some hurt feelings lately and some stress and some worries. I just felt that He totally gets it. He knows exactly what I’m feeling and He wants to help alleviate that burden. I can turn all of those feelings over to Him and I can be strengthened! I can let things go! As I learn to trust Him more, I can walk around with a lighter load.

My second huge impression of the night is that it’s okay that I mess stuff up all the time. It’s okay that I sometimes struggle to read my scriptures every day, or sometimes I don’t serve as much as a should, or sometimes I make really dumb decisions, or sometimes I’m just flat out too tired to be productive all the time. I really felt that the Lord understands and it’s okay. It’s okay that I have weaknesses. He knows where I’m at and He knows how hard I’m trying. I was just so comforted and filled with so much love. I adore the peace and perspective that the temple brings. I really should go more often!

My last impression is that I am exactly where I need to be. The Lord is pretty clever in setting all this stuff up. I married Austin for a reason, I married into Austin’s family for a reason, I’m in the nursing field for a reason, I have the personality and weaknesses and strengths that I do for a reason, and we live where we do for a reason. I felt so comforted to know that there is a plan and certain things are hard for a reason. We all have something to learn. I’ve been trying to read my scriptures more this week and tonight I was reading in 2 Nephi about the fall of Adam and Eve and the reason for opposition in all things. This life is supposed to be kind of tricky! I realized tonight how grateful I am for those things in my life that are hard for me because, at the end of the day, working through them makes me stronger and better. I am becoming more like the Savior as I work through things that are more difficult for me. It’s been awesome to look back on this year and see how much I’ve grown.

So today was kind of a crazy day…I went to Paige’s bridal shower and then I had a disaster drill at BYU. Basically, all of the last semester nursing students worked with the BYU EMT’s to work through a fake disaster scenario. There were a ton of volunteers that came all day and pretended to be injured during a caving in of the bleachers. Their makeup was actually really good! Some people had bones sticking out, some people were actually crying too! They had some really good acting skills! Our job was to triage victims, transport them, and then treat them. I ended up being asking to transport, so it was all heavy duty lifting for me today! It was a good experience to learn a little more about what to do if I’m ever in a mass casualty situation like that. I came home and had some dinner and took a nap and I’m working a night shift tonight with one of my home health kiddos. I am obsessed with my dog and he was pretty excited I came home for a little break in between all of my activities today. I love him so much and hope he’s happy with us!

But anyways, while at work, I decided to read my patriarchal blessing….it has been a loooong time since I’ve read that baby! I love how at different times in life, completely different phrases really stick out to me. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do when I graduate, where to work, when to have kids, all that fun stuff. As I read my patriarchal blessing tonight, I noticed how my blessing states, more than once, that I will “establish a career” and “work for a time.” I have never really noticed this before but tonight it hit me hard! It brought me to tears actually and I can’t believe I never really noticed how much this is mentioned before! I always planned on working after college, and really, throughout my life. Living in the heart of Provo surrounded by Mormon culture though can kind of make you feel bad for having that plan though! I’ve been reading the Family Proclamation a lot recently and….I don’t know. Growing up you always hear at church “dads provide for their families and moms take care of the kids.” However, when I read the Proclamation, I don’t really feel that. My main take away is that Austin and I are supposed to be partners and we are supposed to help each other out. I ease his burdens and he eases mine and one of my main goals in this life is to take care of him. There is give and take, push and pull, and at different times in life, we may take on slightly different roles. This is what I feel the Lord expects of me when I read this counsel. So anyways, I think Austin is in a pretty tricky place right now! He’s taking hard classes at BYU and he’s trying to prepare to take the MCAT and trying to get into medical school. I feel like it’s my responsibility to support him at this time, to help try and ease his burdens and be more of the family provider at this time. When I read my patriarchal blessing tonight and saw phrases like “establish a career” “earn a living” and “work for a time after college” I realized that it’s okay. I’m not a bad Mormon if I don’t kick out kids right away after graduating! I know it sounds silly, but I worry a lot about if I’m doing the right things, if I’m really following what the prophets and the Lord have counseled me to do. I think it is an incredible blessing that the Lord helped me get into the nursing program at BYU. I have had an incredible experience and I know that I am right where I need to be. This is a profession that will allow me to serve others and it will allow me to provide for our family while Austin is trying to make it to medical school. I feel blessed to know that Heavenly Father has an individual plan for each of us and it’s okay to break away from cultural expectations. I don’t write this post because I’m trying to explain myself or anything like that, but I write on this blog so that someday my kids and my grandkids and maybe even great grandkids can read this and know who I was as a person and how I came to understand certain gospel principles. I hope that someday they can read this and and know that their mom or grandma really tried to do what’s right and tried to seek after the Lord’s guidance in so many decisions. I hope that this can help strengthen their own testimonies of a loving Heavenly Father who has a plan for each of us.